


Steven Goes to the Library

by peyj_turner



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: April Fools Bodyswap, April Fools' Day, Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-02
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-30 16:54:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6432667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peyj_turner/pseuds/peyj_turner
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says on the tin! Written for Tumblr's April Fool's Body Swap challenge, and partial to insert my work into one my favorite shows ever!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steven Goes to the Library

Dear Diary,

Working the information desk of the Beach City Municipal Library is not exactly the most glamorous job. I clock in, I shelve books, I annoy patrons, I answer questions, I fetch books, I update my blog when the boss isn't looking, and I clock out just as the sun sets over the beach. Granted, it's quiet most days, and I can almost see the boardwalk through the large glass windows that line the front of the library, tempting me to leave the information desk behind. If I get really bored, and I mean really, REALLY bored, I shelf-read.

Nothing really happens here in Beach City. That said, a few weird patrons have been popping up in recent days, asking for some books that the average public library really doesn't have. I mean, I know that some high schools have model rocket clubs, but this one patron kept asking for schematics to build...rocket ships? Like, actually going into orbit type junk? Who would even need something like that?!

\--

There was a pause between them as she tried to process her request in her head.

"I'm sorry...can you repeat what you're asking for again? I just want to make sure that I heard you correctly."

The tall woman sighed, and folded her arms.

"Schematics. Blueprints. Any sort of plans you have available to build machines that can break this planet's gravitational field and get myself and others into at _least_ low earth orbit."

The librarian lifted her hands from the keyboard, pressed them together and pressed them to her lips. She gave Pearl a quizzical look and pointed her clasped hands towards her patron.

"You are asking...for blueprints."  
"Yes."  
"Blueprints for what you've essentially described as a rocket ship....a space ship?"  
"A vessel that indeed can go into space, yes." 

The librarian pressed her still-clasped hands to her now-pursed lips, closed her eyes, and inhaled--then exhaled--deeply. In a quick gesture, she clapped her hands together, and changed her expression from deep thought to manic determination.

"Okay! Let's see what the world wide web can cough up!" 

The tall woman looked at the librarian indignantly.

"It shouldn't be that hard. You humans _have_ been to the moon."

* * *

 Dear Diary,

So as it turns out, that one lady who wanted to recreate Bowie's Space Oddity in real life was one of Beach City's lesser known celebrities, the Mystical Stones or something like that. Word is that they're some kind of cult or hippie group? One of the library's more frequent patrons says that they're an intergalactic super alien fighting force who are part rock or something? Or maybe she was just trying to describe one of the plots of _The Spirit Morph Saga_ series! I still can't believe that she's reading that, by the way. It's basically the length and breadth of the _Game of Thrones_ series, but for kids!

Either way, good kid! The two young adult librarians love talking to her! More and more she's been coming with this other kid (Stephan, maybe?), and they've been spending a lot of time reading together. It's mildly adorable! Things got a little weird today, because I tried helping him find a book about aliens and space creatures.

\--

"Do you have any books about gems?"

Without even moving her eyes from her game of Candy Crush, the librarian responded.

"The geology books are in the non-fiction section, starting from the QEs to the--"

"No, no, no. Space gems! From outer space that can, you know, can transform and pull weapons from their gems and..."  
"Okay, so you're looking for books about space aliens?"

The boy with the star on his shirt started to say something, paused, looked down and furrowed his brow in concentration.

"They...are from space, so I guess they're aliens. But...they're made from rocks and stones! And gems! And light, I think? At least, that what Pearl said about gems when they get poofed and grow their bodies back and--"

A bespectacled girl walked out from the stacks, spotted the boy and shouted across the length of the library.

"STEVEN! THERE YOU--!"

The librarian gave her a stern look, and the bespectacled girl winced in response.

"Sorry!" she whispered. 

* * *

 Dear Diary,

I meet my fair share of weirdos at work, as one is wont to do working with the public. I meet drunks, hobos, conspiracy theorists, cultists, junkies and some really, really nasty pieces of work who just show up at your branch and make your day worse. However, it's not very often that you meet someone that fits the bill so neatly, so accurately, that you find yourself looking around your general area to see if someone's hidden cameras around you or some aging B-list celebrity is going to pop out of his van and say the catchphrase/title of his dumb prank show. And no, I'm not talking about that Fryman weirdo who keeps going on and on about Sneeple (snake people).

No, this patron gave even young Ronaldo a run for his money for the weirdest person I've met while working the information desk. The exchange was brief, thankfully, but she basically left me mulling over two very strange and very specific questions: one, how much hair gel do you have to use every day to keep your hair that...shape; and two, how on Earth can you store so much anger and resentment in such a tiny package?

\--

"Greetings, human designated information custodian."

The librarians paused from her game of Agario to find a chi--no, a small _green_  woman looking at her with the disdain reserved for royalty addressing peasants.

"Can I help you?"

The small woman shot her hand out, and in it was an aging videotape. From her desk, the librarian could barely make out the scrawl on the tape's edge.

"...Camp Pining Hearts?"

"The human Steven has recently told me that there are more...of this. And that it was available to peruse here at the human information archival establishment. I would like to be given access to any and all information regarding the program contained within this miniature entertainment module...particularly any more programs that contain the characters Pierre and Percy."

A silence.

"...do you have a library card?"

"What's a 'library card'?"


End file.
